My liver just broke up with me...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
