you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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