I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i was born a porn star she said
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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