Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
