is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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