I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize