I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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