Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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