can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
