Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
