Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
