someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
