Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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