I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She even gives head with a lisp.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
