You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
