Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't deserve a penis
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i believe in u and ur pee
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
