I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
