Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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