real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
can u get pink eye on your cock?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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