You're completely useless in the revolution.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
