it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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