I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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