i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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