She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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