stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
