I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
