i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
