He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
