just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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