I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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