ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
