I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I've blown a few things in my day
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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