there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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