this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
