What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
