I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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