I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
