You don't have asthma, your pregnant
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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