she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
