So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
