During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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