apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
