I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
