If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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