It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
