How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
