How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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