Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
