no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
