I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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