My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
