:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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