that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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