Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
