she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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