That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
