let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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