So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
