I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
