That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize