we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
