sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
