Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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