If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
