Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
