Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
