Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Where is the hickey?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
