How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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