Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
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